This was an extremely difficult couple of years for me. I was very depressed, anxious and my OCD got really bad again. I had a terrible experience in while working for a 'famous artist's' company.  I was very disillusioned by life and it felt a constant uphill challenge that I was losing the battle for. For a year I  could not get myself together at all, but then I sought alternative therapies - hypnosis, reiki and acupuncture. I was finally getting to a point where I could function better and stay calm. But then my dad passed away suddenly and I became submerged in grief at the end of 2019. I felt that, things really could not get any worse and so I somehow started to function properly again with the power I believe my dad sends me.

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Here is a poem from 2018.

 

Double Barrelled Insults

 

I can’t make sense of what has gone on.

By not doing anything, you have let me come undone

The fragments of time only highlight how I’ve failed

Everything points to me

Everything is against me

I’ve fallen off the rails

When did it all change

When did I become nothing

I have no energy 

I have to pretend to be ok

Why am I living through this

I thought I had a good heart

But can’t feel it

I can’t feel anything

I fight to stay alive

I fight to stay afloat

I’m drowning and have run out of hope

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